Good Dog

A sudden flash of light, imperceptible because my eyes are still closed.  My nose smells air for the very first time and I feel love.  A gentle caress from a warm gentle mommy who seems to lick my fears away. She feeds me from her own body, and nuzzles me so I can eat, and I fall gently asleep.  Although I cannot see, I feel others around me.  They bump me and crawl on me and help keep me warm.  I grow and grow, and one day I open my eyes and see this loving apparition of one who I will soon leave but never forget.  For the first time, I see what I look like as we all look the same. I  grow and play, always under her careful watch and she nips to teach right from wrong.  Soon my ears begin to hear her gentle coo and her disapproving rumble, all to teach me how to be a good dog.  She gives me love and rules which I will always carry in my heart. She teaches me firmly but gently how to be a good dog.  One day a family of humans comes to visit me.  They seem so nice.  They give me love and teach me rules that I will forever carry in my heart.  I say goodbye to my mommy and brothers and sisters as I head off amongst smiles and happiness.  I am sure I will see them all again soon as I carry their love in my heart.  The car arrives at a beautiful place my new humans call home, and they carry me inside. I am afraid because it is so different from my mommy and family but I feel safe because this family loves me and says they will never hurt me.  I trust them.  They are kind and say they will always be my family.  I grow and I learn and I play and I rest. My name is “Good Dog”.  Just like my momma taught me.  I like it!  They are my family and I will always carry their love in my heart.  We go to the park and we go to the beach.  We run and we play and we snuggle everyday.  In the summer, we drive to the mountains and we run together just my family and me.  I trust them.  I love them.  They say they will always carry me in their heart.  In the winter, I have a special coat and boots to keep me warm.  My family loves me.  I love them.  We will be together forever they say.  And I trust them. Soon there is a big tree with many lights and ribbons and bows and presents underneath.  There are many for me!  I can smell them through the paper. My mommy taught me how to use my nose and how to be a good dog.  I help to build snowmen with my humans and I lay on the bed when my human sisters and brothers are sick or home from school.  I love them.  I trust them.  They are forever in my heart.  My face begins to turn grey and the humans are not home as much now.  I am sure they will come back because they love me and told me I will be forever in their hearts.  One day we get in the car and I am sure we are going to the park or the beach or maybe to visit that nice doctor who always gives me cookies before he pinches me.  We drive and mom tells me to come with her and of course i trust her because I love her.  This place is different.  It smells funny.  There are so many animal smells and some I’ve never smelled before.  We go inside and mom sits down with a nice lady who takes my leash and walks me away as mom is crying.  It’s ok mom.  I’m ok.  I’ll see you in just a few minutes.  You always come back for me because you love me and trust me and I am forever in your heart.  The lady walks me back to a place with so many dogs and cages and barking and growling and some dogs who seem like they really want to hurt me.  I’m scared and alone but I know that my family will be back any minute because they love me and I trust them and I am forever in their hearts.  I sit scared at the back of the cage trying to make all the noise and barking stop.  Someone comes and gives me some food but it doesn’t smell the same or taste the same as the food my humans gave me to eat.  I have water and food but miss the love of my family.  I tell myself “It’s ok. You’re a good dog. At least that’s what you’ve always been told.”  A day goes by and my family does not come back for me.  I hope they are not sick.  I hope they’re not injured.  I know they would never leave me alone and afraid.  The barking is so loud and I am just so tired that I finally fall asleep.  The cages bang and the dogs bark and no one is here to tell me I am a good dog, but I know my family loves me and I am forever in their hearts.  Time passes quickly yet slowly as I wait for my family to come back for me.  Sometimes families walk down the aisles and look at me and say “Looks like a good dog, but too old.”  That’s my name.  Some of the dogs leave with people I guess who were their families that came back for them.  So I will just wait a little bit longer.  I will dream of the fireplace and the hikes and snuggling in bed with my humans when they were sick.  I am sure my family will come back for me.  I will just keep waiting.  I pray they are ok.  One day a man comes and takes me out for a walk to a place I’ve never been before.  There is someone who I think is a doctor, but I’m not sure.  Maybe she is going to take me to my family?  I’ve been here so long. I just want to go home.  She puts a needle in my leg and some pretty colored pink liquid, the color of cotton candy.  I remember my family’s kids loved cotton candy so I think of them.  I know they will come back for me because I am a good dog and I am forever in their hearts.

In memory of all the good dogs who are no more,

Janice Wolfe